Being a fangirl is tough work.  It’s a full time job and one that I’ve been a professional at since I was 13.  Fangirling takes dedication, commitment, obsession and creation.  Fangirling is such a large part of my personality, I wonder how on the day-to-day I function as a normal adult.  Wow! I paid the bills today? Amazing! I thought I had spent the last 8 hours thinking about the fanfiction I am writing!  

I like to think of fangirling as the creative expression to counter passive consumption.  I write fanfiction. I create photoshop works about my fandoms that I am part of.  I create so that I don’t just consume.   In a way, this gives me the feeling that I am in a dialectic  relationship with those who create the piece (or person) I am a fangirl about and myself.  I have more agency here and YES LADIES I AM HERE FOR IT..

Fanfiction, as of late, has been such a saving grace to disconnect from the world for a moment.  It gives my brain the reset it needs to live in pure fantasy and to write something for fellow fans that we all enjoy and find pleasure in.  When I think about fanfiction, I think of it’s political significance to the fan community.  Fanfiction is the space in which people are able to express their deepest darkest fantasies, highlight and showcase Queer characters and LGTBQIA relationships that aren’t often portrayed or shown on television.

It is a space of indulgence, of celebration, a safe space to try new creative endeavors, fail and get back and try again.  It is a space of pleasure, delicious, delicious pleasure.

For the last year I have been slowly writing a fanfiction for the Australian TV show Wentworth with my husband.  It has been such a fun and new experience to create something like this with someone else and we’ve been having a BLAST.  We are both FreakyTits shippers, meaning, we want Vera Bennett and Joan Ferguson to get together and just have babies already darn it! Our fanfiction is called Agnust Dei, we felt that Vera’s worship and Joan’s eventual downfall was fitting of such a sacrificial name.   If you’re interested in reading about a dysfunctional relationship that is akin to Power-Over instead of Power-With, you can find it here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8041387/chapters/18417355

Sometimes I find myself up late at night writing and rewriting scenes of Agnus Dei. At work, photographing a wedding, I’ll hear someone say something, or witness a moment and think “This would be great for my fanfiction.” It’s a full time love affair.

Here is a cute fanvideo AS Larie created that I am obsessed with.  (Fun fact: I learned how to video edit due to making fanvideos like this one!)

It’s difficult to just talk about fanfiction when discussing fangirling.  It’s all connected, fan videos, fan graphics, fanfiction, TUMBLR. Honestly, I’m inspired by all of this when I am writing my fanfiction so why not include it all?

Here’s my challenge to you all, if you’ve never read a fanfiction, go ahead and read one. Archive of Our Own is my favorite resource to find a multitude of fanfictions.  (or you can always read mine , linked above).  What fandoms are you part of? Let me know below!