As the days grow colder and dark, I find myself wrapped in melancholy. It’s a similar dance I play year after year, one where I think I am learning about myself only to quickly forget everything I had learned.
I am finding a loss in everything around me, including in myself, and I am realizing the importance of Feminism now more than ever. I feel the Feminist Kill Joy resurfacing again and I welcome her with open arms. I am tired of the self hatred, of the tip toeing around our mediocre men, I am tired of not loving myself and others openly and honestly and without shame. I am tired of hiding my own feelings to make life more comfortable for others. I am tired of being someone who I never really was meant to be. My life is my own and I get to make the rules, don’t I?
I am too young to be apologetic and ashamed of myself.
I am ready for me again. (or at least this next version)
I am ready for my youth again.
I am ready for MY life again.
Perhaps this is the point–I will step back into my body, and find glory in myself and I encourage others to do the same, whatever that means for them.
I am currently working on a new project of portraits of women located in the mountain communities. The women don’t have to live in Frazier Park, but I want them to be located in this beautiful place. One to show off the area and also there is something transformative of this space & place. The women I have met here have all radically shaped and changed my life whether or not they realize it or not. It’s been a transformative six years that keeps on going. Every week I am excited and terrified about what I am going to learn/change about myself and I want to honor that in my favorite form of expression.
I am literally inspired by women. From business to art to music. It’s always women.
It will always be women.